Weigh-In

Still working on those "before" shots. My camera needs batteries.

Just a quick post since it's weigh-in day.

Starting weight: 305.8
Last Thursday: 298.8
Today's weight: 297.4

It's not a huge loss (pizza on Monday) but the scale is moving down! The pizza was totally not worth it, either. I just felt sluggish and bloated after eating it. Tomorrow I'm going to see Josh Gracin with my sister, and we're going out to dinner before the concert. I am determined to stick to meat and veggies, no matter where we end up for dinner.

Along with eating better, I'm also going to be incorporating a little exercise. I've decided to do the 100 push ups challenge. You can read more about it here: http://hundredpushups.com/

I can do 11 "modified" push ups. Not horrible, but not great. I can only improve from here!

S. E. X.

Sex.

It's an important part of a healthy adult relationship, and yet, we're still afraid to talk about it. I want to talk about how obesity has affected me, personally. I don't want to project my feelings onto anyone else, but I can't help but assume I'm not the only one who has these feelings.

As I've gained weight over the years I've noticed a few things. I almost always insist on lights-off sex. Sometimes, it takes extra long for me to "finish". The biggest thing I've realized is that my weight inhibits creativity. I told my husband that when I'm on top, I feel like a flailing walrus. I get winded, my legs cramp up, etc. I don't know about you, but lying under a flailing walrus is not my idea of a good time. Sex is messy, and it's understood that there will be noises, and fluids all sorts of interesting, yet unexpected, occurrences.

However.
There's something somewhat. . .turnoff-ish (not a word) about the sound of my own flesh slapping against my thighs.

Does your weight keep you from feeling sexy? Do you think your obesity is limiting your sexual creativity?

When was the last time YOU had sex with the lights ON?

Coming tomorrow. . .
Photos!

Look, still blogging!

So, I had Chinese food for dinner last night. But I did really well. I ate mostly crab legs. I did have about a quarter of a cup of chicken with broccoli and a bit of white rice, too. It was a little cheat-ish but I own it!

Today I had Jimmy John's for lunch. Yum. Did you know that all of their sandwiches are available as an "unwich"? No bread! Who knew? My "unwich" came with turkey, cheese, tomato, cucumber, alfalfa sprouts (gotta check to see if these are "ok"), bacon, mayo and avocado spread and it was all wrapped up in some crunchy lettuce. It was so good! I wonder how many WW points it is? Ha ha! I'm so glad I don't have to count!

I'm going to work on getting my before photos and measurements done this weekend. I'm dreading the photo, really. Who wants to admit their weight on the internet and THEN post a picture to prove it? Not me! But I will because it's time I own my weight. My husband doesn't even know how much I weigh!

A friend gave me some of her old, but still in great condition, jeans recently. I have six pairs of size 22, four pairs of size 20 and two pairs of size 18. I wear a size 24/26 right now and I only have two pairs of jeans that fit me. I refuse to buy more. Wearing old, sucky jeans now will make finally fitting into the 22s a whole lot sweeter! I hope it's soon! I think 20 lbs will get me down a size but we'll see!

I'm so excited for this. I'm 31 years old. I don't want to be fat any more. I don't want my thirties to be fatter and even more unhealthy than my twenties. I don't have any weight-related health problems, per se. But I am always tired and sluggish. I get winded going up stairs, or cleaning. Last summer my left knee started hurting, etc. So it's time.

It's time to find the healthier me hiding under all this weight.

Next post I'm going to share my photos/measurements and then I want to talk about a fat girl's dirty little secret.

Sex.

Yep. I said it. I want to talk about sex and how weight affects sex and sex drive.

We're gettin' real up in here, yo.

So. . .blogging, we meet again.

Well.

Here I am.

The title says it all. This is a weight loss blog.

Um.

I hope.

How's that for faith in myself? Maybe blogging will hold me accountable for my weight loss, and facilitate the process. I started this blog over six years ago, and yet it has fewer than six posts. I guess I'll make a resolution to post daily or at least every other day. I'm planning to take a before photo, soon, even though the thought of it makes me cringe.

I'll come out and say, though, that I started this journey about four days ago.

Beginning weight?

Ugh.

305.8 lbs

Today I weigh 298.8 lbs.

From now on, I'll only be posting my weight once a week (even though I tend to weigh daily). I suppose since it's Thursday, I'll go ahead and stick with that.

Thursday=weigh-in day.

I'll also take some measurements in the next few days and post those, too.

My chosen "method" of weight lost is the Primal Blueprint. Basically, I'm ditching grains. That means I'm not eating bread, pasta, oatmeal, crackers, corn/corn products, tortillas. I'm also avoiding beans, soy (gross), and unhealthy oils/fats.

What the heck is left, you say? Lots!

I can eat:

meat (chicken, beef, pork, lamb)

fish

veggies (corn is not a vegetable)

dairy

butter

coconut oil

nuts/seeds

fruit in limited quantities (mostly berries)

I will occasionally indulge in white rice and white potatoes, too. I'll be keeping the quantities low, though, because I'm trying to lose weight. My focus is on whole, real foods.

I've tried other plans, like Atkins and Weight Watchers and The South Beach Diet. I know all of these plans have worked for people, and honestly, they worked for me, too, short term. Unfortunately, I don't find them sustainable. Atkins most resembles the Primal lifestyle but the focus on "frankenfoods" is high. Artificial sweeteners and protein bars, little vegetable content. The South Beach Diet is both low carb AND low fat which means I was hungry all. the. time. Weight Watchers created a mental obsession with "points" and I psyched myself into believing I was running out of points from the second I started eating.

I'm attempting to change the way I think about food. I know this is the healthiest way for me to eat, the problem is with fighting my old food demons. I like to eat. I am fat because I like to eat.

So, anyway. How's this for a first post. I've laid it all out.

Wish me luck!